


Talk is good...or is it?

by vinegardog



Category: Farscape
Genre: Fanfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegardog/pseuds/vinegardog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sleepless night on Moya</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk is good...or is it?

This takes place the night following the events of Natural Election, Season 4 – if you have not seen this episode or the ones immediately before it, it will probably not make much sense to you….or maybe it will not make much sense to you even if you have seen them…. however that would be completely my fault and not yours for not understanding it !

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, even though I wish I could create some a fraction as good! The Henson Company owns them and, boy, am I ever grateful they shared them!

Thanks to Nymeria for reading this and giving me lots of great words of encouragement! You are GREAT, Nym.

Word count 1835 or thereabouts

TALK IS GOOD OR IS IT?

 

“One sheep, two sheep, three sheep” John tossed and turned in his bed “Damn the fluffy, white bleaters, this is useless!” He had started the count up to a hundred at least three times and still sleep was as far away from his grasp as Earth….safety….or happiness with Aeryn! 

He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling in his quarters…Moya’s gentle hum had absolutely no effect tonight. Strange how that same hum had driven him insane for the first three or four weeks of his arrival on this side of the universe only to turn with time into a sweet lullaby, one without which he could now not imagine ever again falling asleep.

Cutting his losses, John decided to get up and at least try to put some of this wasted time to good use. He could go down to Command and chart a heading to take them to the closest commerce planet – food had been scarce on their return to Moya and they definitely needed to stock up on supplies… or maybe he could head to the maintenance bay and do a badly needed overhaul of his Module, anything would be preferable to these torturous failed attempts to fall into oblivious sleep.

He even shortly considered waking Noranti up to get one of her concoctions but frankly he just did not feel up to having an off the wall conversation with the old woman. More often than not these resulted in ferocious headaches anyway….

Head bowed, he dragged himself down Moya’s corridors trying to keep his mind on anything, anything at all, other than HER or HIM – he was not sure which one was worse at the moment !

The thought of that aberration resting in one of Moya’s cells within striking distance of all the people he held dearest on this side of the galaxy was enough to give him the shivers and spin him into a helpless rage.

“A promise is a promise, John, and you made one, so get over it and get on with it!” 

Repeating this thought to himself like a mantra, he stepped into the centre chamber to grab a hot drink but was abruptly stopped in his step by the sight of a lithe, pale figure slouched over the bench by the table.

“Hey Pip, what the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

All he got in response was a further slump of her shoulders and a big sigh.

“You can’t sleep either eh? Well, THAT’s a stupid question since you are here and clearly awake ..are you alright?”

“No, old man, I…I am NOT alright….I am feeling…I dunno…strange. I guess YOU would call it… guilty…” Chiana looked back over her shoulder at him with haunted doe-like black eyes. 

“Guilty? What did you do now? “ John frowned and tried to work out in his head what Chiana possibly might have done to keep her awake and feeling this wretched…and then a doubt hit him.

“You didn’t go near my Module, did you? Chiana, I am warning you, the last time you almost wrecked it and I am sick and tired of telling you to keep away from it…it is a really sophisticated piece of machinery…”

“Shut up, Crichton! I did not go near that piece of dren, alright!?” Chiana suddenly stiffened up, turned around and stared at him with a vexed look on her face. “Stop just thinking of yourself and your stupid stuff! I….I betrayed a friend’s trust today, I revealed something I shouldn’t have and it’s….kind of eating at me…happy now?” and with a ‘humph’ she turned her back to him again.

John tiredly rubbed a hand on his face and in turn feeling guilty for jumping down her throat about his Module, sat down beside her and gently bumped his shoulder against hers.

“Chi, you know I am here for you if you want to talk…talk is good…it makes you feel better…that’s what I always tell …people” His lips said people…. what he really had wanted to say was “Aeryn”, but he just could not bring himself to say her name out loud, not yet, not after earlier today and the events of the last couple of days . 

After a little moment, Chiana nudged his shoulder back with hers in a silent acknowledgement of his unspoken apology and looked sideways at him.

“No, John, I don’t really want to talk about it but…thanks…” and after a pause “Why are YOU awake anyway? Wait…let me guess….Aeryn, right? When you get that ‘I have just been kicked in the mivonks’ look, it is always about Aeryn! So, what are you going to do about her and, you know, the …. the narl…”

At that John stood up as if jolted by an electric current, gritted his teeth and muttered:

“I don’t want to talk about it…good night, Chi!” 

“But, John…”

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it!” 

Without breaking his stride he headed straight for the door leaving Chiana and her probing questions behind as fast as possible.

_____________________________________________

No point in heading back to his quarters, sleep was still out of the question, so he made Command his next destination and the study of the star charts his next attempt to distraction….no joy there either…D’Argo stood at one of the consoles fidgeting with some of the controls….damn! Too late to get away…the big Luxan had already turned around and nodded a hello to him…so John put a cheerful face on and said:

“Yo, Big Guy, fancy meeting you here in the middle of the night, it must be a full moon or sum’thing…”

D’Argo frowned and for a moment tried to understand his friend’s Earth expression….full moon…all moons and planetoids are full in mass, are they not? Frell that, no point in even trying, so with a shrug he freed himself of the full moon image and filed it away with the other hundreds of unexplained Earth expressions accumulated in his brain over the last three and a half cycles.

He turned to his friend and slowly and somewhat hesitantly said: 

“John, you don’t need to hide your feelings from me…I know you are upset and I am afraid the talk we had earlier probably did not help an awful lot…”

“D’Argo, I’m alright, really, I am! What are you doing over there, anything I can help you with, Cap’n?”

D’Argo just plain ignored John’s interjection and continued in his train of thought:

“…I had no right to warn you against Aeryn … just look at my life….my wife was killed for loving me, Chiana betrayed me with my own son…who am I to give you advice on love and women…I think you should talk to Aeryn in a few solar days and maybe things won’t seem so bad then…”

“D’Argo, I don’t want to talk about it!” John hissed and shoving his balled up fists deep in his leather trousers pockets, turned around and headed for the door.

“But, John, you were so miserable without her….”

“D! I said I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!” 

John almost sprinted out of Command, this time leaving D’Argo and his musings behind as fast as possible.  
_____________________________________________

“Hell!” he thought “does anybody ever sleep on this frelling ship!?!”

Exasperated John decided that, sleep or no sleep, maybe the safer course of action would be to retreat to his own quarters to avoid any further encounters, however as he passed by Pilot’s den on the way to the sleeping tier, he heard a soft voice coming from within:

“Commander Crichton, is that you?”

John stopped, took a deep inhaling breath, which would have been the envy of any master yogi, stepped into the Den and crossed the centre bridge over to Pilot’s dais.

“Yes, Pilot, it‘s me. What’s up?”

“Nothing is UP, Commander, everything seems to be in its normal regular position…”

“No, Pilot, no! What I meant is, are you and Moya OK?”

Pilot looked at John with his golden soulful eyes and after a brief hesitation said:

“Moya and I….were very scared today when we could no longer see the stars, it was truly a terrifying experience, John … so we wanted to thank you and the others for freeing us of that dreadful plant and also for granting us our wish to have one person, a Captain, express your wishes and commands to us”

“Pilot, you and Moya are our home and we will always be there for you, no matter what…no need to thank us!”

Pilot gracefully inclined his head and John, smiling, slowly retraced his steps back along the bridge towards the door until a thought struck him and made him stop and turn around.

“Pilot, I always meant to ask you something and somehow I never got around to actually ask….what is your name?”

Puzzled, Pilot replied “Commander, I do not know what you mean, my name is Pilot...”

“Yes, yes, your name is Pilot NOW but… I mean, you became Pilot after you were bonded with Moya, right? But what name did you have BEFORE then, what did your parents back on your home planet call you?”

At this, Pilot visibly stiffened and in a clipped not so gentle tone said:

“Commander, I do not want to talk about it!”

“But, Pilot…”

“Commander Crichton, I do not want to talk about it, PLEASE LEAVE!”

Taken aback by this unexpected hostile reaction, John stood still for a second or so debating whether to push it any further but another look at Pilot’s now stern face told him that shutting up at this point would be advisable, so he turned on his heels and gingerly left Pilot and his strange upset behaviour behind.  
__________________________________________

And here he was! Exactly where he had told himself for the last few sleepless arns that he did not want to be - SHOULD NOT want to be - and yet here he was and there IT was… Aeryn’s door, privacy curtain pulled, facing him, mocking him, taunting him.

A sudden white hot fury surged through him and he savagely hoped that the woman on the other side of that door was also awake, tormented by doubts, uncertainty, PAIN!

And then as suddenly as it had possessed him, fury drained out of him to give way to weariness and the rueful awareness that no, he did not want her to suffer, he had never wanted her to suffer, he would never want her to suffer…

He lightly pressed his splayed hands against the bronze metal door, careful not to make a noise, and closing his eyes he tilted his head forward until his forehead also came to rest against it…as close as he would let himself get and as far as he had ever felt from her.

Bitterly he finally admitted to himself that restful sleep - any kind of sleep - was not going to be an option tonight or any night soon….but it didn’t matter, none of that mattered…Aeryn, HIS Aeryn was back and everything else was meaningless.

The end.


End file.
